Saturday, November 7, 2009

A tough decision.

Hey guys. It's been a few days since I last wrote, when I was so excited with my progress with my NaNoWriMo story. I want to thank those couple people who encouraged me, but I have something to say. It isn't easy to say it, but I have honestly thought long and hard about it, and I think I'm making the right choice.

I'm doing the unthinkable... I'm dropping out of NaNoWriMo. In my first week, too.

Now please don't make me feel bad about this. I know I promised myself I would write a 50,000 word story in 30 days, and I truly think that if I had to keep at it, I would surely make my goal. But all that writing took up sooooo sooooo MUCH of my time! Honestly, I don't know how everyone else does it. Maybe it's because I've been pretty much out of practice writing under a structure, but I really didn't like the self-imposed pressure that I'd put on myself, because I was always a little bit behind in my quota. Here's what my daily word count was:

Day 1: I wrote 1,023 words.
Day 2: I wrote 805 words. Hmph. That wasn't a good day at all. But at least from then on I always improved my number. See?
Day 3: I wrote 1,325 words.
Day 4: I wrote 1,493 words.
Day 5: I wrote 2,454 words. This was the day I was most proud of myself. Obviously. ^_^

In the end, I wrote a total of 7,100 in under a week. I didn't write any words for my story on the 6th, and I haven't written anything today. I've decided that I will not participate in NaNoWriMo any further than I've already done this year. (I'm not sure how to delete my account, so I'm just not going to use it.) Don't get me wrong, it was quite fun trying to bang out a brand new story and not caring whether it was any good. What was also good about it was that my sister Annette decided she would do this thing with me. We both had fun for a while. I happened to write a thousand or so more words than her, but I think we both wrote decent material. I especially like what my twin wrote. ^_^

But as much fun as it was, the two of us decided that we were getting a little fed up with this activity, and that we could direct our time and energy on more fulfilling things. I mean, we're both 18 years old, and we're still in this weird little rut. Besides writing, I'm not sure what I want to do with my life. How I want to make money, what I want to use money on if I happened to have a lot of it, where I want to travel, what crowds I want to mix myself in. It's still a big mystery to me. I need to figure out the answers, and not get distracted anymore.

I'm not putting down NaNoWriMo. It was sure a lot of fun while it lasted, but to me it just felt like one giant distraction from my real goal in life. Not that I know what that is, but I know that I feel a lot better and more in control of my destiny now that I've decided to relax and stop writing so fervently. So I won't get the honor of turning out 50,000 words in a month. Big deal! I can write any time I want. In fact, if I have any story writing to do, it should be in my own original Imazia novel that I have sadly been neglecting for months on it. ~,~ I am so sorry, Maggie! And Flora, and my squirrels Mac and Dameon! I have failed you! But hopefully I hope to turn that around very soon.

And even if I don't get back to my Majik story immediately, I can write sooooo many other things besides! I don't have to put all my eggs in one basket, and let it all ride on one novel. I can write poems and short stories to start, and hone my craft a little bit. I think then I'll feel more inspired than ever. The point is, I will try to write something good every day, but I do not, I repeat, DO NOT have to write exactly 1,667 words for me to feel like I did a good day's work. I wish good luck to my fellow writers who still hope to reach 50K by December 1st, and I hope you aren't too disappointed that I'm dropping out of your ranks. I may be giving up, but it's not because I'm a chicken or don't think I can make the grade. I simply think I can use my time a lot more productively. So there.

(btw, I'd actually like to credit Annette with coming up with the idea that we quit. Thanks a lot, sis. I couldn't have agreed with you more. I mean, at first I was against the idea of not finishing what we started, but I think this will be all for the best.)

In other news: The weather has been wonderful today! It's finally getting cool again after so much warmness. ^_^ Me so happy! After that brief little stint of bracing coldness, it's not been the same. But now I think the weather will be very pleasant now. Also, here's a link to a particularly cool and awesome piece of technology that I think you will enjoy. ^_^


Deb said...

I'm glad you got a solid week in. Just think, you did better than me!

In everything, there's a time to stick and there's a time to move on. If you got what you needed out of NaNoWriMo, then it was time to move on.

If anyone tries to make you feel bad for dropping out, just send 'em my way :)

Magenta said...

Aw, thanks for being so supportive, Deb. ^_^ I appreciate it. I definitely got what I needed out of this thing. And you'll be first to hear if someone says anything bad about me quitting, though I very much doubt anyone will.

I made it clear that this is just about me, and not that NaNoWriMo is bad, right?

Anonymous said...

Girl 7K for one week is awesome. I didn't even attempt NaNo because I already have a lot of writing commitments, blogging, networking, crit buds, my own stories (ranging from novels to flash) plus editing for a magazine. It's a lot to juggle and I don't even work for a living!

Don't worry, you will be fine. It's not like you quit NaNo to give up writing entirely, just the schedule wasn't working. Do what you got to do, that's what matters. =D

Brian said...

It's ok. I will probably need to drop out sometime to. Until then though, I'll push through. But I sorta agree with the writing priorities thing. I haven't written in my normal story in months either. But at least those who will have gotten partway through will still have a writing project that they may or may not go back to later. I'm satisfied with what I've written so far (as a first draft anyway). You?

Magenta said...

I'm so glad that everyone is being so nice. I fully expected people to say, "Aw, that's too bad you're quitting. Well, your loss." But instead I'm only hearing good things, which is awesome. ^_^

Deb: Wow, I'm not surprised that you didn't enter NaNo. So much work! Makes my head hurt. >,< Yeah, I'm definitely not giving up writing in general. The schedule I was working under just wasn't working.

Brian: I'm surprised that you'd drop out. Good luck with your writing, though.

Graham Chops said...

Well, I can't twist your arm, so I won't :-) Writing is like anything else you want to do: only you can want to do it. If you're not passionate about it, then find what you are passionate about, and go for it! Besides, even if you weren't at 12K by the end of week one, I'll be you still learned a good chunk. You'll be a better writer for it.

ilana {elaine} said...