Thursday, June 18, 2009

Goodbye, Hazel -,-

I can't believe it. Something very sad happened yesterday.

Our sweet, beautiful brown hamster, Hazel, died in her sleep. ~,~

We were terribly shocked when we found it out last night. Why did we have to become so sad after we'd been feeling so happy that night? Our parents were out for the night, so we kids were on our own. We saw Roman Holiday, which is one of the rare old classics that I can say I liked, and afterward we caught some Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. They were funny shows, and we laughed a lot. (Both of them showed Obama swatting a fly while being interviewed. Hilarious.)

Then we shut the t.v. off and Adam and I went to see Hazel. She looked like she was sleeping in an adorable position. You know how hamsters do it, right? But then I noticed that she was lying with her eyes open. And she wasn't breathing.

I lifted the lid and gently shook her, but there was no response. It seemed she had died only recently, because when I picked her up and took her out, it didn't appear rigor mortis had set in just yet. Her jaw was set, but her body still seemed flexible, and her fur was so soft, just as it had been in life.

We were incredibly sad that Hazel was gone. We'd owned her for well over a year and a half. She'd basically been my brother Adam's responsibility. He wasn't always that diligent about feeding her, but I know he loved her dearly. We all did. He blamed himself for her death, but Annette and I tried reassuring him that it was nobody's fault. Still, he cried a lot. A lot, a lot.

For some reason, my sister and I didn't have any tears to cry. Not right away. It was hard to take in. Though we were very sad too, I guess we had to be strong for our younger brother. But later, when I was brushing my teeth, Adam surprised us by writing a beautiful farewell note to Hazel, for when we'll bury her. No one told him to, and usually he needs some help when he writes things. But he wrote directly from the heart:
Dear Hazel, I'm so sorry that you had to go. Out of all the other hamsters that I've gotten, you've got to be the best hamster I ever had. I believe that you will go to a better place. Hope you have a blast in hamster heaven.
May you rest in peace, your loving owner, Adam Z. Levy.
After I read that and I was alone in our room, I finally cried. What Adam had written was so beautiful. For Adam. I knew we would all miss her very much.

Do you guys think I should get rid of my virtual hamster, Gadget? Or should I keep him?

This morning, Annette and I decided we, too, would write notes for our hamster, though she'll never be able to read them. You know, being dead, and a hamster and all? But it's for our own sake. Here's what I wrote, plus a link to my sisters post about Hazel. She writes a beautiful poem.
Dear Hazel, our sweet family pet:
I will miss you very much. Even though you had a long and wonderful hamster life, I wish you could have lived just a little longer, so I could take you out of your cage and stroke your beautiful brown fur one more time, to tell you I love you. Maybe somehow you already knew it, so it was okay for you to go.
All of us loved you a whole lot. You were so healthy and smart, funny and lovable. You never made any *baby hamsters like we expected you to when we got you, but you were still an awesome pet. Thank you for letting us film you on our **puppet show those couple times, even though you must have been very sleepy at the time.
Don't worry. Though you've parted from this world, you've become immortalized on YouTube, so you'll always be around whenever we miss you. You will always have a special place in my heart, Hazel. In all of our hearts.
Much love from your good owner's sister, Bettina Levy
* When we first bought Hazel from the pet store, the worker we talked to said she was pregnant and would have babies soon. We'd had a couple hamsters already (Stanley, Brownie, Muffin), and we thought taking care of tiny hamsters would be an educational experience. We waited for several days, not wanting to touch her so she wouldn't be scared of us, but no babies came. Eventually we decided she was a dud, but we still learned to love her very much. She was the best hamster ever. ^_^

** A couple times we needed Hazel to play a part in the Leslie and Kyle show. She was a fabulous actor. Here are the links to those episodes, Nine and Eleven, plus a couple other videos I once took of her (this and that). In fact, I believe those movies were the first that we ever put up as YouTubers. Wow. (Sorry for the terrible lighting, btw.)


Rainy.Rani said...

Aww, Bettina! I'm so sorry! Like I told your sister, I bet Hazel was really sweet. And I know you guys will never forget her, even without those videos of her.

And tell Adam it wasn't his fault! He seemed to love and care about Hazel, and that's all that matters!

Rainy.Rani said...

And it's your choice whether to keep Gadget or not, but I would keep him, in memory of Hazel! But that's your choice. . .

J.N. Future Author said...

Oh no! that is so very sad...I'm really sorry Bettina. I wish I could put an arm around you and wish you better...

That must have put you in shock...but it sounds like she felt very warm and safe while in your care.

You said you had no tears to cry. I understand that...maybe all pet owners are alike. We love them so much, they really are a part of our lives! But then they leave us. Its almost unfair that our lives have to be so much longer than theirs...We want them to feel happy for as long as they live. and that is what happened. Hazel knows you love her. Just from the way you write about her, i can tell you loved her deeply...

Its...odd that you wrote letters. That is what we did when Dar died. We wrote letters telling him how much we adored him, and how much we wished he was still around...

but there were still no tears. (there are now!) Its like as much as I miss them, I believe with my entire heart and soul that there IS a better place after earth.

There has to be....Human-kind can not exist without the hope of a forever...we'd go crazy, become depressed....realize that life is not worth living if there is not an extension to what there is now...

There has to be a Heaven. There IS a Heaven

And when you go to Heaven, Hazel will be there waiting with all your family and friends. The same way you will wait for the rest of your own friends and loved ones...

I can't wait to see what Heaven is like. I feel at peace with the idea. I can't wait to meet all the people I never could in real life. I can't wait to find the loving embrace of all those whom I love so much. I can't wait to welcome others, to show them how much they meant to me.

Bettina, if I ever get to Heaven before you, I promise to be waiting on the other side. I'm sure you would promise the same.

I'm so sorry this had to happen to you...I have never known a person less deserving of something like this.

You loved Hazel, and she loved you. She knew how much you cared for her. How much you enjoyed having her around. If she were still around, she could show you how much she loved you back.

sorry this is so long...but in closing.

Bettina, take peace and look to the sun.
Hold your head high, think only of fun.
Serenity, Harmony - Joy is the cure.
Hope is within you, of that I assure.

Magenta said...

Rani, Jacoby... thanks you guys. Hazel sure was a great pet. I will miss her.

Jacoby, I especially appreciate you for sympathizing with me so very much. What you wrote, about Heaven and stuff... that was beautiful. Thanks for taking the time. I know how sad it was for you when Darth died.

*sigh* Well, at least I still have my cockatiels, Sasha and Sammy, around to take care of. Birds live a lot longer than rodents.

Brian said...

I'm so sorry Hazel died, Bettina! I wish I could have commented sooner, but I just got back on a computer.