Time

At the moment, I do not think time is my friend. It is very disobediant (as if time could obey anyone!) and tricky. It doesn't do what I would want it to do. Like, my SAT test is three days away now. I am so nervous, anxious for test day to arrive, I just wish it would come already. Put me out of my misery, have done with it already. Then I wouldn't be so worried anymore.

But no, I have to wade through the many hours that still seperate me from the SAT test. It's as if time is tired. Or spiteful, maybe. It wants me to suffer. To live out each hour as fully as I can before the day jumps on me.

We have to return the big SAT book we're using to study to the library today. I'm so worried. I don't think I've spent enough time working on my essay skills. Oh sure, I feel a lot more confident about my math skills, but the essay is the first thing they hit you with! It should have been the first thing on my mind. The day is only three days away! I've said that already, right? And what will I do without my big study book? Another example of time being a meany. I don't feel as if I worked long enough, and time decided to take it away from me. All the time I could have spent productively. Gone.

I am wishing, begging, willing for time to listen to me, but it is deaf to all reasoning. It is not my friend at all. I don't know what I did wrong for it to treat me like this. I'll just have to grin and bear it until test day. Well, at least bear it. And then I know what will happen. After test day, I'll feel as if the world has been lifted off my shoulders, like Atlas. I will get back to my life and everything will be back to the way it was before I began getting completely stressed about the SATs. Oh, how I wish for that day to come quickly.

Just now I was practising writing with Annette. We wanted to be meticulous about it and we used a timer. We'd take 2 minutes to understand our essay prompt, about 5 minutes to plan out our examples and how we want the essay to go, 15 minutes to actually write everything out, and the last couple minutes to quickly check our work for mistakes or correction. Annette went first and I kept the time. As I watched the time pass, I realized that it went even slower for me than usual. Each minute felt five times as long. After the twenty-five minutes were over, I honestly felt I'd been sitting for over a couple hours. Think about it. 25 x 5 is 125 minutes. 2 hours and five minutes, by my personal perception.

And then, when it was my turn, it felt completely the opposite. It seemed I had so little time in which to plan and write a good piece when in truth I knew it was the same amount of time as Annette. Okay, I think my essay was okay, but certainly nothing to brag about. Who can produce a good piece of literature in 25 minutes? It is so unfair, the restraints the college board sets on teenagers.

I believe that George Carlin says it best when it comes to time.

Watch this. I think you'll like it.