Monday, September 14, 2009

Change is what I need!

No, this has nothing to do with polotics. =P

I've just been thinking a lot lately... It's been an entire week since my sister and I turned 18 (yay me! Thanks for all the comments, btw ^_^), and I haven't really felt any big changes yet. You know, I still feel like a 17 year-old. I'm just used to it. I don't know how on earth I'm going to wrap my head around the fact that I am, in fact, 18 years old. I'm a legal adult! I'm supposed to be ready to take on the world, as it were.

I ought to consider myself very lucky. I have a loving family who isn't trying to kick me out of the house, now that I've come of age =P. Since I've been home-schooled most of my life, I pretty much have all the free time in the world. I think I've been raised pretty well. I'm whole, healthy and happy.

But at heart, I still feel like a kid. All I want to do is read books, watch movies and blog. My parent's friends ask me all the time, "SO, have you decided what college you want to go to? What do you want to study? What field will you pursue?" Inwardly, this is driving me crazy. Mostly I'm undecided. I'm practical. I don't want to make any decisions unless I'm positively sure it's what I want to do.

Of course, to me it's obvious that I'd be happiest in the field of publishing, or anything to do with books, so I'd be closest to what I love. But at heart... I hate to say it... I feel lazy. I've led a comfortable life-style. Why should I change anything?

Then again, I don't want to live with my parents for the rest of my life. Another side of me wants very much to have the adventure of a lifetime. A few days ago my sister and I tried applying to this Birthright Israel trip program thing, where people from 18 to 26 can go on a 10-day trip to Israel for education and fun, but we were put on the waiting list because we didn't act fast enough. These trips take place either in the summer or winter. Well, at least we know about it.

Today I sent an email to apply for a job at a restaurant called Salad Creations. For those who don't know, I am a vegetarian and love eating healthy. What could be a better job for me? I'm crossing my fingers here. I haven't had a lot of work experience, mostly baby-sitting. A steady job would be good for me.

I'm gonna have to invest more time in my story sometime soon. Nothing is stopping me, except for the distraction of hot, exciting new book releases. And I guess the fact that I'm stressing over everything else. Also, it's just soooo easy to put it off. I can get back to it later... I've got a lifetime ahead of me...

This post isn't very special. I just want the world to know that I'm thinking very hard on this. It's time for me to change. I need to step up to the plate, and take control of my life.
One of my bestest friends is leaving the country in a few days. I'm really going to miss him. A lot. ~,~ But he does say that he'll try to keep on the blogging scene. I really hope he's able to. I'll say a better goodbye on the 18th, when he's actually leaving.


Rainy said...

Hmm. Deep thoughts. I really can't help you there. I'm pretty sure whatever happens, happens for the best.

I forgot you and Annette are vegetarians. Any reason why? I am too, but that's because of my religion. I'm Hindu. Did I tell you that? I think Annette knows...

And I hate to be a spelling nazi, but (and I bet it's just a typo) but it's supposed to be politics :^)

Brian said...

Darn. I can't apply for that Birthright trip when I'm 18 because I've already been to Israel. Why did my parents have to take me there when I was like 6 months old??? Unfair!!!

Magenta said...

Thanks for your thoughts, guys. ^,^

Rainy ~ me and my sibs have been raised as vegetarians since birth. I don't have the remotest desire to consume anything that once breathed air. (Or water. I don't eat fish either. Just wanted to cover everything. =P) Plus, veggies are the best! Guess I'm one of those cuckoos who love broccoli.

I think I knew you were Hindu. I follow your blog too.

Ha! I guess I did misspell politics! Funny! Thanks for pointing that out. And don't worry; I can be a spelling nazi sometimes too.

Brian ~ You can so apply to the Birthright program when you come of age! I've been to Israel already a couple of times too, at different points in my life, but that doesn't stop one from taking this exciting and educational adventure. You should look into it. And you don't have to do it right at 18. You're able to do this trip up until you reach 26. But you can only do it once, I think. Then you're on your own.