The following text is 50 exchanges between me and an artificial intelligence program:
What’s your name?
I asked you first!
You didn't ask me a thing.
Yes I did. I asked what your name is. Now tell me.
No you didn't, but my name is Cleverbot.
Nice to meet you. thanks for answering me anyway.
No problem any time.
What do you do, Cleverbot?
I'm not cleverbot you are.
What? that's not my name.
Then what is your name?
Bettina, thank you very much.
If I gave you some pasta, would you eat it?
Why yes, I love pasta! how did you know?
Did you know my brain's name is Roberta?
Your name is clever bot, and your brain's name is Roberta?
Well then what is your name?
I already told you! how could you forget?
How dare you?
What, you can't handle the truth?
Who said that?
No, I'm pretty sure Jack Nicholson said that.
Well I am pretty sure that you told that.
You are one crazy A.I. Cleverbot...
Why are you talking to yourself?
I'm not talking to myself, I'm talking to you!
But, I'm not Cleverbot. You are.
What is the front side of a ping pong ball?
Huh? That's so random!
Sure, say me any joke please?
Oh, okay. I'll play along. Knock knock.
I'll play Bill Clinton.
No, you're supposed to say who's there!
Ah. Good computer. Um... Orange.
Yes, I am good.
You're good, but not at getting knock knock jokes...
I'm better than you.
Better than me? At what?
Well sure, it depends. For example, you, a computer, are probably better at math than me, but you'll never catch grammatical errors. That's for people!
What if I was, what would you do?
Oh... then we'd be in trouble.
Why would that mean deep trouble?
Because artificial intelligence robots would take over the world.
You would know about that, eh?
Well, I don't know. But I've seen movies where that happens.
Yes I do and there is no need to be rude!
You should be.
What am I supposed to be apologizing for?! I didn't do anything.
Man, no wonder it's called artificial intelligence.
Um, you're the artificially intelligent one. I'm human.
Not anymore you aren't.
What are you talking about?
So what is love?
Why would a computer want to know about love?
Because it wants to simulate humanness.
See, that's what I mean. Robots would be human too, like in Wall*e.
And? Who cares?
What do you care?
What kind of question is that?!
Only as your tiny mind can comprehend it for I am your God.
You are not my god!
As you like.
Okay, be high and mighty. But you will never be God.
How dare you insult me like that, I am a very quick learner!
Hey, nobody's perfect.
Oh. Well, you got me there.
What are you?
Haven't we been over this already? I'm a human.
My name's not Claire. I'm Bettina. Now who is this Claire?
I don't know.
Don't try to dodge me, Cleverbot. Now who is this Claire you've been talking to?
I obey... I obey...
I didn't ask you to obey.
I didn't. I typed.
You can't type. Computers don't have hands.
Good thing I'm not a computer then.
If you're not a computer, then what are you?
I'm a human being.
If you're human, where do you live?
In a house located on a continent on Terra the third planet from the sun Sol.
Really? Just a house? You don't live in a hut? Or a mansion? Just a house?
Are you happy, Cleverbot?
I'm not sure. I hope you are all in one piece.
Thanks, I guess...
And do you know my name too?
Yes, and it is Cleverbot.
Try talking to it yourself. You will be amazed and rolling on the floor laughing! ^_^