Crystal Gem rap battle

So I got inspired to write something today, thanks in part to the return of one of my favorite cartoon shows ever, "Steven Universe" (watch them all online here: http://www.animetoon.tv/watch-steven-universe) and the following awesome rap battle videos:

I decided to put these two things together and come up with my own fictional character rap battle! Hope you like it. ^,^

Hello, I'm Garnet. I may not say much

But if you're a threat, I can pack a punch

I'm flaunting my gauntlets, better give up now or

You'll leave me no choice but to use my gem power

I'll pound you to the ground, knock you into next year

I protect my friends and I don't know fear

I'm fierce, I'm fast, you'll never know what hit ya

I've got a third eye that sees into the future

So I know how it goes, you lose and I win

This battle is over before it even begins.

Oh no, you didn't! There's something you missed!

When it comes to rap battles, the queen is Amethyst!

I'm messy, but you don't wanna mess with me

The best rhymes are mine, you just wait and see

I'm crazy, ladies! There is no escape!

I'm a wild child, honey, Imma whip you into shape!

This purple puma's on the prowl tonight

Don't tease me 'bout my height because I'll put up a fight

I've got an appetite for food and fun

I think it's clear to see that this battle is done

Now wait just a minute, you take that back!

I didn't want to do this, but it's my turn to attack

I am Pearl, the girl who's gonna rock your world

With my smooth sword fighting and a ballerina twirl

I'm filled to the gills with skills you don't even know

But if you want to throw down then I'll give you a show

I'm slender, I'm sweet and I'm shaped like a fairy

Don't let my looks fool you, my moves are legendary!

Are you scared? I don't care, this is such a waste of time

It's clear to see I'm the one with the best rhymes

Not even! It's Steven who has the funky flow

You gems may be cool, but this is my show!

I may be just a kid, but I kid you not

Part human, part Crystal Gym, I think I've got a shot

I'm not much of a fighter, but when push comes to shove

You know I'll be there to protect the ones I love

It's very plain to see that I rule Beach City

I know everyone's name and I'm clever and witty

So bow down to me, cuz I'm the king of the verse

Better hand the crown over to Steven Universe!

The (new!) Story of the Man Who Didn't Finish Anything

So I published a poem years ago that to some seemed a tad depressing. This weekend I rewrote it so that ending was a little happier, but the message is still the same. Hope you enjoy it! ^_^

(The asterisks * indicate where I wrote new lines.)

Original, from July 2010: http://magentacarmineroberts.blogspot.com/2010/07/funny-new-poem.html

There once was a man by the name of Paul

who was wiry, skinny, and not that tall

(he'd never quite finished growing up, after all.)

As a kid he had habits that were not very good

Never finished his veggies, like good boys should

No one understood him, not even his folks

Never finished a sentence whenever he spoke

(which was a problem when he tried to tell jokes.)

He never finished school, because of his quirk

He never finished classes, or his homework

Paul never finished movies, or even one book

He'd start, but then never give another look

Maybe they weren't worth the effort it took?

Never once did he finish his chores

His parents worried more and more...

*They made him join a group called the P. A.

*Procrastinators Anonymous, a.k.a

*Unfortunately meetings were always delayed

*Paul couldn't see why everyone fussed

*He didn't finish his sandwich, leaving the crust

As an adult, he never finished one job

(which was to manufacture thingamabobs)

He was sadly replaced by a guy named Rob

"You never finish anything!"

Said his girlfriend, Sarah King

*Paul tried to deny it and start a fight

*But before he could finish, he knew she was right

*He thought about her words all through the night

*The very next day, he made a plan

*To finally become a finished man

*Paul promised Sarah that before too long

He would go and prove her wrong

(Who knew his feelings were even that strong?)

*He decided to go back and finish school

*So his girlfriend would know that he was no fool

*After a few years, he earned his degree

*His parents cheered and wept with glee

*Sarah was as proud of him as she could be

*He wanted to finish other things

*Paul decided to spread his wings

*He began to write his story, so he could share

*with the world how, with much work and care

*Anyone could do what he did, if they dared

*He's not finished yet, but he will be soon

*It's due to come out sometime in mid-June

So let this be a lesson to everyone:

Finish what you start.....